Introduction
Police, fire, and EMS will be the first to contact a person in crisis. First responders need to be able to communicate with someone in an extreme emotional state so that the situation does not escalate to violence.
People in crisis will operate on emotion to the exclusion of reason. They are overwhelmed. Their coping skills, ability to regulate their emotions and solve problems, have all deteriorated, or they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol or experiencing a psychotic break. It is not a first responder’s place to determine the exact cause or to make a diagnosis. Still, the presentation of someone who is normally mentally healthy but experiencing overwhelming stressors and broken coping skills, or who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or psychotic, will be similar.
Basic counseling skills are a means to de-escalate a situation without using force. Talk until the time for talking is done. There will be very high levels of emotional arousal, which will reduce the ability to process information. If someone in this state can feel heard, they may become less defensive. Tactical communication is yet another tool for achieving compliance before force must be employed.
Someone is more likely to de-escalate if they know the alternative is getting manhandled. Effective de-escalation is predicated on the ability and will to use force. The subject will conclude that resistance will not benefit them. All of this ties in with command & deterrence presence.
Basic Counseling Skills
- Attending: Make eye contact and listen carefully to what someone is saying.
- Reflecting: Paraphrase back what they have said so they know you are hearing them and understanding.
- Clarifying: Confirm what you have heard so you understand the situation, and they feel respected.
- Summarizing: Summarize what you have heard. This can make the person feel understood and taken seriously.
Why These Skills Matter
First responders can benefit from learning basic counseling skills to improve communication, assessment, and crisis management during high-stress encounters. Active listening, attentiveness, reflection, and paraphrasing can make someone feel validated and dial down their emotional level so that the situation does not escalate to violence.
Someone in a crisis may be very scared, enraged, and confused. Basic counseling skills can help establish rapport and may establish a modicum of trust. Someone may become compliant when they feel heard and treated with respect.
Most people do not want to lose control. It does not feel good to lose control. Most people in crisis want something. They want to be heard. They want answers. They want resolution to some grievance.
Not all of this will be possible. It is beyond the police officer’s scope of responsibility to grant all of someone’s wishes, but they can be heard. When law enforcement works with co-responders, there may be options available instead of incarceration, such as referral to a shelter or transport to an ER for medical needs to be addressed and/or a mental health crisis stabilization unit to address mental health needs or detox.
Basic counseling skills may be reframed as crisis communication, tactical communication, or tactical de-escalation to make this more palatable to law enforcement officers accustomed to projecting authority. That combination — active listening paired with a credible command presence — is what makes these de-escalation counseling skills for police effective in real encounters.
These skills can be useful to help people de-escalate and follow instructions to evacuate or to interview witnesses and gather information in mass casualty events, motor vehicle accidents, industrial accidents, and shootings.
De-Escalation Communication Guidelines for Police
- Maintain eye contact: Maintaining eye contact can convey that you are honest and earnest. There can be a disconnection between looking someone in the eyes versus seeing their reflection in mirrored sunglasses.
- Call them by their first name: But don’t overuse their first name. I have heard someone who sounded like they had just taken a communication class using someone’s name in every sentence, and it sounded scripted and patronizing.
- Concrete, repetitive statements: Keep your statements and sentences short and concrete, connected to the here and now, and repeat as needed, within reason. There will come a point where further repetition is unproductive.
- Avoid abstract statements: Abstract statements can cause someone who is psychotic, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or in an extreme emotional state to respond with anger and frustration, as they are unable to process complex, abstract statements.
- Do not confirm or deny delusional statements: There is no benefit to confirming a delusional statement. This can fuel someone’s excitement and cause even further confusion. Nor is there any benefit in denying a delusion because delusions, by definition, are very firmly held beliefs. The person you are speaking with may be certain they own a yacht and a private jet, even though they are homeless. They are as certain of this as you are that you have a police or fire station to return to.
- Seek common ground: What do you have in common with the subject? Are they a veteran? Have they been a first responder? Are they a long-term member of the same community?
Know When to Stop Talking
There will be a point where further explanation is counterproductive. In a review of several hundred hours of body cam footage, I have seen police officers repeatedly explain to someone when the time for explanation had passed and it was time to put hands on someone or issue directives for compliance.
A significant operational issue is the belief, during an encounter with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, in a psychotic episode, or otherwise emotionally dysregulated, that more explanation will produce more understanding.
The subject’s ability to process complex information will be impaired, and repeating explanations may not increase compliance. It may instead create an argument, reinforce the person’s delusion, or otherwise prolong the encounter. Recognize when the time for talking is over.
Do not confuse communication with persuasion. Shift from explaining why something is happening to establishing what is going to happen next. Give clear, simple instructions. Acknowledge what the other person is experiencing and establish very clear boundaries and consequences. If possible, allow time for the person to process what’s happening.
Giving Options and Preserving Dignity
If it does not compromise officer or bystander safety, give them a way to preserve some dignity and a sense of control.
Give them options, a place to go. No one is more desperate than someone who has no options. See Sun Tzu, Chapter VII, Maneuvering, 36: When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.
Somebody may be having the worst day of their life. If you make it worse, you may end up having a very bad day as well. A maxim that I use when speaking to people in crisis is: “Nothing has to get worse than it is right now.” This could be the proverbial bottom you’ve hit. It does not have to get worse than this. I say this very frequently, and it is a way to thwart a crisis.
Case Examples
- I witnessed a situation with a shoplifter. Store loss prevention pursued him outside, and he was resisting. He was taken to the ground and handcuffed, and an employee was restraining him while he struggled and swore, demanding to be let go. When it became apparent he was not going to be released (the employee was a former high school wrestler), he calmed down a bit and was asked, “Are you calm enough to sit up?” “Yes,” he replied, and he sat up, still handcuffed, with the man holding onto him. By then, he had realized it was fruitless to continue struggling. He asked, “Can I get my hat back?” He was given his hat back and was then taken into custody without further resistance. Somebody who is being arrested and restrained forcibly is experiencing a major loss of control. Give them back a small token of control, and that may help them calm themselves down and stop resisting.
- A mentally ill man prone to fits of anger was creating a disturbance inside a group home, threatening staff and other patients. Police officers were called, and one of them took a pinch from the man’s shirt sleeve. He did not grab his arm, just two fingers on the shirt sleeve. The police officer said, “Come outside and talk to me.” The man replied indignantly, “I don’t want you touching me.” The police officer said firmly, “Then calm down right now.” The message was, I will respect your wish not to be touched, but you’re going to give me something in return. You’re going to be calm. The two fingers pinching the clothing subtly established control. The man went outside, away from the people with whom he was escalating. He was relocated to the scene, where he engaged in dialogue with the police officer, and the situation was resolved without the use of force.
Conclusion: De-Escalation Counseling Skills for Police and Officer Safety
Tactical communication is another tool before going hands-on with someone to manage department liability and reduce risk to responders and bystanders.
The objective with de-escalation is not to talk so long that a situation deteriorates further. The objective is to communicate to resolve a situation. You’re conveying to the subject that the best option is to cooperate and comply rather than continue resisting.
Police officers may have reservations about using de-escalation counseling skills. They may believe it conflicts with officer safety, command presence, or the ability to take control of a dangerous situation. Some may be concerned that slowing down the tempo of an encounter, showing empathy, or engaging in a prolonged discussion could be interpreted as weakness or hesitation. But de-escalation is not about giving up control; it’s about maintaining control. Effective de-escalation requires a confident presentation and the ability to use force. It is not a substitute for force but another option to maintain control of the situation.
Effective de-escalation is not appeasement. It is a combination of communication skills, command presence, deterrence, and the credible capacity and will to use force when talking is no longer effective.
Endnotes:
A “Suspect” refers to a person suspected of committing a crime. A “Subject” refers to the person who is the focus of an encounter, particularly when the primary concern is a disturbance, behavioral crisis, or safety issue rather than a criminal investigation. The use of the term subject does not imply a lack of criminal responsibility or legal capacity.
